Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Light up the sky

KK came running in my room last night about 7:30 telling me I had to come outside because the sky was my favorite color.She was so excited. She said she was singing and all the sudden it turned pink.It was beautiful . KK said it looked like pink and blue cotton candy...she was right.. She would look at the sky and then look at me...really hard in my eyes to see if I was going to cry. I wanted to so bad..The sky was amazing..oh my sweet child ...she wanted me to see it..but did not want to be the cause of my tears..I held it in...for her. We stood there for a while and just drank it all in. She noticed how one side of the sky was pink and it even made the trees glow. I explained to her that it was because of the light from the sun, and how it made everything beautiful. Just like how Jesus,Gods SON, does the same for us. So we came in and I was getting her ready to take a bath. She said out of the blue " I'm not going to college". I asked her why? She said" I'm smart enough already". I told her that we would worry about that later. I already knew what this talk was really about. She came to me again and said " I don't want to go off to college". I told her she didn't have to go OFF, she could go right here to school.
"I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE TO SCHOOL"....I knew it. For an 8 year old..she has such a connection to Rachel , and is so aware of how Everything relates. I told her I knew what she was saying. Now she was the one who was holding in the flood of tears. I thought her eyes would explode. I hugged her for a long time..and told her not to worry about anything . I told her I would drive her anywhere she wanted to go. Let's just finish the 2nd grade...lets only worry about getting through today..
The sun is back up this morning.The birds are singing.. "Weeping may stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning".

When I’m feeling all alone and so far to go
The signs are nowhere on this road guiding me home
When the night is closing in
It’s falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don’t feel them shining
When I can’t see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I’ve almost reached the end
Like a flood You’re rushing in
Love is rushing in

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

So I run straight to Your arms
You’re the bright and morning Sun
To show Your love, there’s nothing You won’t do

Light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

1 comment:

  1. we saw it, too, after baseball last nite, and i wondered if you were outside.
    gorgeous spring sunset. the boys said
    "it's like a painting!"

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