Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Lessons before school

On the way to take Kennedy to school, we got stopped behind a school bus. After another glance, I realized it was a bus that carries special needs children. I could only see the young mom coming down the driveway . Once passed the cars, I could see the little boy in his wheelchair. Walking right by his side was his faithful companion....a huge mixed yellow lab. As they walked toward the bus, the dog would look at his boy, look around the yard to make sure it was ok ,and then look back at him again. Once they made it to the bus, the dog watched every move the bus lady made...making sure that she did it right. The dog watched his friend leave and stood there until the mom called him back. As I watched this , I immediately began to thank God for my healthy children. I looked over at Kennedy and she had huge tears streaming from her eyes. She looked at me and said "that was so beautiful, and so sad". Her 13 year old heart sure does have a lot of love. My fear was that losing her sister would crush her spirit and harden her heart. ..but it seems to have made her more compassionate. She truly amazes and inspires me , daily.
Philippians 4:7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

It only takes a spark

This past weekend I had the joy of watching 2 of Rachels friends from her church youth group exchange their wedding vows. It was such a beautiful ceremony. The father of the groom was the minister. He was also the pastor of our church while Rachel was in the youth. The youth pastor from their group gave the devotion, and 2 other girls from the youth group sang the special. One sweet friend was also a bridesmaid. Talk about bringing you back in time. So many others from that very special time were there in attendance, or part of the wedding. I grabbed a order of ceremony and of course the first song that was to played was LOVE NEVER FAILS. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through the ceremony, but God allowed me to be there , be present in the moment, and drink it all in. I was able to see only the beauty in every moment , every minute of the ceremony. When I tell you I didn't shed a tear, I too found it hard to believe. I was moved beyond words at what was taking place before me, and realizing that it was something I will miss greatly.I think what helped was finding some of my old video tapes that I didnt even know I had. Seeing all the kids so young, and so sweet had really brought me to a place that I didnt think I would get see again. A place that my mind and my heart had not fully been able to see. I made a video of the video to share with you. Rachs brother is obviously the photograper, because it looks like his shakey work. Just view it for what it is, and what it means to me. Rach sang many times at this little church. She sang with me ,she did solos, and she would sing in the choir. The Lord of love has come to me....I want to pass it on. I told you to keep checkin in.....

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Well, I have battled the flu....the butterflies flew.....and they changed the format on my blog. It is almost impossible for me to post from my tablet. And to add insult to injury, my other computer has pooped out on me. After Rachel's Facebook was shut down, I began to panic about losing all my photos and images on my computer. Well, of course my powercord went out, and once that was fixed and I was attempting to back up all my files, the whole thing went crazy. Just please keep checking in...I'm trying to get back up and running because I sure have a lot to share.