Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Walking the walk

This past Saturday was probably one of the longest days I have had in a while. It was "pageant" day. I struggled to find the right hair do for Kennedy to wear. I was feeling a lot of pressure, because I wanted her to have a chance at placing this year. I never say WIN...just place... any place.. I have already shared how hard this one is because of her dress..Rach stayed on my mind all day, and night. Later in the afternoon as we were taking our last break before leaving, we sat to watch a little tv and just relax..What came on???? Napoleon Dynamite...if you know Rach...you know how much she loved that movie..we all knew what we were watching. It was a much needed laugh, and a connection. Then it was time to go.I was so proud of how Kennedy carried herself the whole night. She never said a mean comment, or judged any ones dress or appearance. I could hear and see it all around me...I must confess that I even had a thought or two...but Kennedy had nothing but positive things to say about everyone. I hope that can stay with her through her teen years. Well, somehow it all came together...the hair,the dress,the makeup, and the smile



She looked so beautiful. There were 10 beautiful girls in her category. She took her turn on the stage and her true beauty shone thru.....



SHE GOT 1ST RUNNER UP !!!! I was hiding backstage when they called the names..I of course cried.I was so happy for her. It was some stiff competition. The little girl that won looked like she was at least 16...thats all I'm gonna say...It was a great night.
After the pageant, we all went out to eat.

I was so tired from the day, and from the stress, but it was a nice end to a very long day. When the waitress came to the table to take our order, my eyes immediately went to her name tag..It said....

RACHEL


All I could hear in my mind was...of course her name is Rachel.....It was like she was saying.."I'm here too"... I held in my tears until we got into the dark car to come home..I am so grateful for my "God winks", or whatever it is you want to call them...(just don't say coincidence) .. It is just a reminder from Him that I am on the right path...even tho I might be in the valley.... "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me"...David never said walk AROUND or OVER the valley ..I have to walk through it..and these God winks remind me ...I am not alone.
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5 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 28, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    WOW!! How lucky are you to have such beautiful girls? Of course it helps that you are too :)Thank You God for all of Your Divine confirmation of Your Mercy & LOVE for Suzette & her family. Thank you Susie for sharing such personal testimonies that enrich & deepen our faith & showing (or reminding) us of the evidence of God's Glorious Grace & Exsistance!!! Love you sooo much. Tell Kennedy Congratulations & she deserved it...she looked
    Fabulous...love christel xxoo

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  2. AnonymousMarch 28, 2011 at 9:01 PM

    When a young lady has a beautiful mother and a handsome dad..what else could be expected but a darling, beautiful daughter (s) including Kaitlyn of course. Kennedy you ARE beautiful!!! Suzette so proud of you and am thankful how GOD is helping you thru "the the valley ofthe shadow of death". HE is with you always. Hugs and prayers to each of your family members. Love aunt pauline

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  3. AmberMarch 29, 2011 at 6:24 AM

    You are never, ever alone. I'm so glad you realize that.

    Kennedy, congratulations. You are gorgeous on the outside, but it's your inner beauty that means so much more. What a great display of character.

    Love you guys and miss you so much!

    Meeves

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  4. AnonymousMarch 29, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    … we do not know one another yet you have blessed me so… Kennedy is absolutely beautiful… as all three of your girls are… what touches my heart so is the inner beauty that shines forth… of course the fruit don’t fall far from the tree… the “God Winks” really tickled me… over my lifetime many times God has got my attention… just to make me aware that he was on the scene… but I never had a word for it… you are such a blessing!!

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  5. suzetteMarch 29, 2011 at 5:18 PM

    I have always given God the glory for my sweet girls. They are truly a gift from Him.They are who they are inspite of who I am..but ...I sure love the comments...they let me know you are here with me too and I love you all for being here.

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