The green dress

It is beauty pageant time again. yay!!!! Kennedy has done this particular pageant since she was in kindergarten. She loves doing it, so we allow her to be in it as long as she is ok with not winning. Last years dress was beautiful, and Kennedy loved it because it reminded her of Rach. This year is so much more than that...she has fallen in love with a green dress that her aunt Kim had and said would be beautiful on her. It is almost the same green as Rachs dress..just a little darker.As I was lacing up the corset back, I was instantly brought back to the dressing room when Rach first tried her dress on. The look on her face when she saw herself in the mirror...I will never forget. You just know when it is THE dress. Rach knew. As you can tell from every photo of her in that dress, she loved it.And then all the memories of September came flooding in.... I had tried to steer Kennedy towards a different dress, for my sake, but she loves this one . I asked very discreetly why she liked it.She said it was comfortable, and she liked the color. I was waiting for her to say it looked like Rachs dress..I will once again pull up my big girl pants and do what I need to do ....but it won't be easy. I still have a piece of Rachels dress. It is a small square of fabric with beading on it. I had to take it out after trying on "the dress" so I could remember exactly what Rachs looked like. I think its time to turn it into something. I have had it hidden away in a drawer , not knowing what to do with it. I don't want a pillow. I think I will just frame it ,somehow..
Tonight I am struggling for words. I miss my Rachel greatly, and so many others have shared with me this week how much they miss her too. I am glad to know that they still hold her so close in their heart. And I also know that God is still here with me. " Moses told the Israelites in Deut.4:9 to "only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live" I might not be following a cloud ,or a pillar of fire ,or eating manna...but God has done some amazing things for me on my journey...I try to think on those things, but some days ....a lot of days.....no matter how hard I try...you just can't stop the "love" from flowing....that's what I tell the little girls...my tears are my love... I am reposting my first post...this video my sister made of Rachel...in her dress...