Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

To where you are

I did something I had not done since the funeral. I watched the memorial video that was made for that day. I had tried many times to sit and watch it. I have held it in my hand...and closed my eyes..and watched it play out in my mind . The other night, I could not sleep .I was going through my photos and I came across the file in my computer. As soon as the music started, I was back in that church,..down on the first pew...watching the video, and singing along with it. No one ever commented to me about my singing. I said something about the video to my husband right after the funeral, and he said..I heard you. I really didn't care if people heard me, I was just surprised that no one ever mentioned it. I could remember so well while I was watching it, which parts of the video made me cry harder at the funeral. I remember seeing Rach with that sweet smile on her face, and hearing the people respond to the photos. I know I will never forget any part of that day. Almost 2 years later and it is still so raw. I cannot share the video on here. There are many photos of other family members and I respect their privacy. It was very long anyway...2 songs long.. much longer than the man at the funeral home had asked for..too bad.. I say goodbye on my terms.. I will, however, share the songs that were played. Josh Grobins song. ...
"To Where You Are"
some songs you just can't read the lyrics to...you have to hear it.I hear it daily...


Who can say for certain?
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be

That you are my forever love
And you are watching over me from up above?

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile

If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn't faith believing?
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

'Cause you are my forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe that angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile

If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

1 comment:

  1. I couldn't sleep last night..so I wrote this post. On our way home from Orange last night,the sunset was amazing. I was sitting quietly looking at it, missing Rach , and from the backseat I hear KK suck in her breath and say OH....its beautiful!!!!!! They last time we had eaten at the place we were at last nite, Rach wasn't with us,but I had texted her a photo of our food....picking with her...Her reply was 'I wish I was there'.......I wish she was too...

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