Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Love In Bloom

(i hid the last names for privacy)


The sweet lady that plays the keyboard in our praise band lost her mother last week.The funeral was yesterday, and for them it was a beautiful sunny day.My day went horribly wrong.One of the puppies crawled out of their fence and fell in my goldfish pond.I got her out just in time.It took forever for her to stop shaking and warm up.It happened while I was dropping kids off at school so I don't know how long she had been in there. Then later in the afternoon, I went to go water my porch plants and check on my baby birds.The neighbors dog had destroyed the nest and the baby birds body was lying on the porch...I was so sick, and mad. Throw in lots of other ridiculousness, and needless to say I was ready for a NEW day..Last night as I was laying in the bed trying to sleep ,I was thinking about the nest in my plant from the funeral, which led me to think about the day I got them all.That was without a doubt one of my favorite days..the day the flowers came.I don't know if you know this but, they only bring the flowers that are on a stand to the cemetery.All of the arrangements in baskets and all the potted plants go to the home. When I say my house was full of flowers,I mean FULL. They just kept coming.I had to set up tables to have places to put them.My house smelled so good. There was just so much beauty .Those flowers helped to fill the emptiness that was so palpable in my home.I read every card,and smelled every flower ...and then did it again.I had several beautiful days.I told my husband that I wished there was some way to just keep it this way.There was just so much love represented in those flowers.As they would begin to fade,I would quickly remove them and rework what was left to try to keep it beautiful.As they would fade, part of me would too. I do have several house plants left. I lost a few of them in a freeze but I still have about 15 of them left.The part that gets me the most is that I didn't have enough sense to take pictures of them!!!!Can you believe it? I know I was exhausted ,and barely even functioning, but I can't believe I didn't take a million pictures of flowers.I don't know exactly when I woke up, but I am glad I did finally realize that a picture IS worth a thousand words.I can see all of the arrangements in my mind, but boy would I love to be able and just sit and look at them again.I do have a photo of one of my favorite arrangements.It was from some of my sisters sweet friends .The picture really doesn't show how BEAUTIFUL this arrangement was, but when I see, it I can remember it so clearly and I can remember the love.Thank you all so much for the love.

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