All Aboard

On Sunday mornings I have the privilege of giving the children's sermon.I usually go pretty close to the start of the service,that way all the little ones don't get restless.Sunday morning they showed a video before I went.It was on,of all things, the new Grief Share class that someone very special at our church is starting.When I say the video was hard to watch, I mean it was H A R D to watch.So I didn't.I couldn't watch it or listen to it.Not if they wanted me to give a children's sermon.I put my head down and put my fingers in my ears like a two year old so I couldn't hear any more of it.I'm sure all the people behind or around me think I need supervision.No, what I need is for people to understand.I love giving the children's sermon.It helps me to have some sort of normalcy in a life that every part of has been ripped to shreds.Its hard enough when everyone wants to "greet' me before church,and by greet I mean ask me how I am.Don't get me wrong, I love the hugs.I love people loving me,its just hard to go and give a lighthearted children's sermon when you're constantly reminded of why you're brokenhearted.Please don't read anything else into this post.It is only meant to be a glimpse into what is my life, now.Like I said,I LOVE my church family and I love all the hugs,prayers ,and encouragement I get from them, but this blog is the real deal, no sugar coating here.I am just trying to work through my sorrow , and I hope it helps someone else to feel "normal".(I put that in quotes because there is no normal in grief.)


Do not judge,and you will not be judged.Luke 6:37
(just incase you were leaning that way)
thanks for riding the crazy train with me.