On the 17th

Of all days for me to get the autopsy in the mail.It had to be today. I don't even know why I opened it.Did it really matter?It didn't change anything about the day,there was just this part of me that needed to know.I stopped by the mailbox on the way back from town, and there it was.I had it opened before I knew it.I tried to read it.There was way too much information in it.What I needed it to say was, she didn't suffer.Thats it.I don't care how much her liver weighed.Just tell me she felt nothing.I read what I needed to know closed the paper and almost had to crawl into the house.My legs couldn't support the burden I was carrying.I sat in the corner of my kitchen on the floor until I could stand.Why did I read it?It will be put away where I, nor my kids, will ever have to see it again.On this day,the 17th ,one month ago, my daughter was killed in a car wreck.I refuse to say accident.The impact instantly killed her.That is all I will ever say.