Lottie

Sometimes when I can't sleep or when I'm just feeling sad, I go back and reread cards,messages that were sent to me or to Rachel.Just hearing about the way people saw her and the way her life impacted them brings me so much comfort.One of Rachels friends from school had wrote"you were a larger than life person I only hope to be half the person that you were...

This person only knew her from school, he didn't have the almost 20 years that I had ,but he saw in her what I had known since she was very little.I always knew that God was going to use her in a very special way .We used to call her "Lottie" when she was about 4 years old,maybe even younger,because she was already witnessing to people.I remember her quizzing my sister one Sunday"how come you didn't go to church"?That was just the way she was.I am trying to prepare for November 1.This birthday will be very hard.This time of year was always her favorite.Everything that has to do with oct. nov. dec., she loved every part of it.I am trying to see what she saw in all of it. To see only the good, the beauty in it all.It's funny how so many pieces of songs come to mind like Merle Haggards "If we make it through December". I know there will be such a void in all of it.I feel the need to over-do everything hoping that it will make it easier for the little girls, and I guess for me too.

If we make it through December

Everythings gonna be alright I know.