Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Thank you for this day

                                                                      Rachel Clark

 Well here I am at the 4 year mark. I opened my eyes and said " thank you Lord for my beautiful Rachel". I went in to the kitchen to fix breakfast for her sisters. Kennedy came in and looked at my face to see how I was. I did the same to her. She grabbed a snack cake to eat. I told her it was a long day and she needed to eat some food. " I can't eat " was her response. She then sat down at the table . She bowed her head and said "Thank you for this day " ..the words went straight my heart. What a picture of grace. And then she said "thank you for this food, amen". I stared out the window and caught a glimpse of the sun coming up. Thank you for this day. Thank you for my family and friends that say Rachels name to me. Thank you for stories that you continue to share with me of how Rachel made a difference in your life. Four years later, I still meet new people . What a difference that beautiful creature made in her world. She did it in the simplest of terms. She accepted people for who they are, and she treated them with loving kindness. What would I give to be able to share breakfast with her, fix her beautiful hair, have those long arms give me a hug, or just sit and watch tv with her and laugh until we cry. Maybe thats something you havent done with your kid in a while. Maybe today, you could make time. We are not promised tomorrow , or even the afternoon. Love your family. Say those 3 simple words that are sometimes so hard to say. I love you.

 If tomorrow starts without me,
 And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
 I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
 Please try to understand, That an angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand,
 And said my place was ready, In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind; All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
 I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do,
 It seemed almost impossible, That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared, And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, Just even for a while,
 I'd say good-bye and kiss you And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized, That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories, Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, My heart was filled with sorrow.
 But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, From His great golden throne,
 He said, "This is eternity, And all I've promised you.
" Today your life on earth is past, But here life starts anew.
 I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last,
 And since each day's the same way, There's no longing for the past.
 You have been so faithful, So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things, You knew you shouldn't do.
 But you have been forgiven, And now at last you're free.
 So won't you come and take my hand, And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me, Don't think we're far apart,
 For every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart.


  1. Wow, four years. I can barely believe it. May you be well, may you be happy, may you have peace.

    1. I still remember so clear sitting at my kitchen table with you sharing my heart. I didn't know you , but I trusted you. You are such as passionate and compassionate writer/person. You are always in my heart.

  2. Four years. I guess this makes the third year that I have marveled at what a huge impact this child I never got to meet has had on my life. Some days I have wanted to just call you up and say, "Rachel, Rachel, Rachel." Just so you'l know that "people" haven't forgotten.
    Yes, thank the Lord for this day, and thank you, Suz, for sharing your journey. SHE HAS MADE A DIFFERENCE.
    Much, much love,

    1. I have felt the love Andi ! I am so thankful for all my friends that hold me so close in their thoughts. Thank you for remembering Rach, and for staying on this journey with me. Much love to you !

  3. Oh My Gosh Suzette that was sooo beautifully written. I checked your blog for so long for new entries & then stopped, thinking maybe that season was done for you. And my heart called me to check it this morning (I just had a feeling) & oh how thankful I am, for I am so blessed by you & Rach's never ending journey..LOVE NEVER DIES or FAILS. Thanks for being my friend & giving me the honor to be yours. I love you BIG!! God's comfort, mercy,& strength be ever upon you & your family in Jesus Name hugsnkisses Christel <3