Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Thanksgiving delivered

On Saturday November 10, my husbands father has a massive heart attack at his home. Several family members performed cpr . My husband and Kennedy were in the woods going to make a hunt. I was at Moody Gardens with KK and one of her sweet friends from church. Kenny got the call to go to the house and when they got there Kennedy stayed in the truck. An ambulance came but, God had already taken Paw Paw home. He was only 66 , but he had endured so much pain(more than most could bear) in his lifetime. When I got the call my heart broke for my husband, and it shattered for my child. Her first words to me when I saw her were " I was so scared". I don't remember her ever telling me that before. In her words the ambulance came and they didn't do anything. This is not the first time that this has happened to someone she loved. In the movies , the paramedics come and save the person. Or the firemen save them. But not for Kennedy. They didn't save Rachel, and they didn't save her Paw Paw. So that is where I have been. Staying very focused on my girls and trying to stay afloat in this deep river of grief. (As if it weren't hard enough already). Funeral plans , Kennedy's birthday..Thanksgiving. It all came so fast. And God took care of each and every part of it. And then on Wednesday afternoon, the young lady who wrote an article about "Real Acts of Compassion" that I started on Facebook, came by my home with a copy of the paper for me to see. My beautiful daughter was on the front page. My story was in other peoples hands..again..Talk about being grateful. There were no words big enough for me to say. I tearfully told her thank you. Gods timing is always perfect. Today everyone is back at school and the quiet in my house today has been very welcomed and very soothing. I am ready to just sit in the quiet and listen for God. Be still and know that I am God. "The sound of 'gentle stillness' after all the thunder and wind have passed will be the ultimate Word from God."

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