Where ya going?

I came across this one night while I was Not sleeping.



Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson.

Chapter 1:

I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes
forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2:

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the

sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t

believe I am in this same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still

takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3:

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the

sidewalk. I see it is there. I fall in … it’s a habit … but my

eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out

immediately.

Chapter 4:

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the

sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter 5:

I walk down a different street.


I instantly could see how this related to grief, addiction, eating disorders...so many things that we wrestle with daily. After I read this a couple of times, I started to think that for me personally, parts of it didnt fit. When I had fallen down into my dark holes, I knew I was not alone. I did feel at times that people didn't really understand the depths of my pain.But I always knew that God was right there with me. I also knew that I would not stay down in that hole forever. Sometimes it just felt more comfortable in the darkness. I know you don't understand that. I still wrestle with being "out of the hole". I don't have guilt for not being as sad I had been(believe me, I still have many sad days)..it just feels like I'm not in my skin.That deep sadness is all I have known for over 2 years. You hold on so tightly to everything that you feel for the person that you lost because it almost feels like...thats all you have left of them..and you don't want to lose that too.The truth is, we all have choices daily that we have to make. Choices in how we treat others, and how we treat ourselves.
Proverbs 4:26 says " Ponder the path of your feet".
I think that best sums up what the poem was trying to say.
Ponder the path of your feet..