Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

We like sheep


I took my girls (plus a friend) to our state fair. The last time we went, Rachel was with us. I had wrote on here how hard it was for her to watch her little sisters ride the rides. She didn't think it was safe, she was afraid her littlest sister would try to stand up, she was a mess. Guess who was a mess last night?
It all started out ok, but then the reality of what I was looking at began to sink in. People flock in to these arenas like mindless sheep. We allow ourselves to be dangled by wires and chains, and slung around on rail. All of this put together and operated by people that we don't know anything about (scary carnival man) ... As I watched my child hang upside down with only a bar and a strap of material holding her in, I started to realize that once you've seen behind the curtain ( just like on the Wizard of Oz) you are never the same. Losing a child changes everything.
I also started to question why we were so willing to trust these strangers
with our life, but we aren't willing to do the same with God. We only are willing to get on the "merry go round" with Him. Anything that causes unpleasant feelings, we panic. But just for fun...let me get spun around so much my brain scrambles ..
Yes I know...its just a carnival...its just something I thought about..and just another way my life has been changed.



Psalm 118:5-6, 8 (NLT) In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and rescued me. The Lord is for me, so I will not be afraid… It is better to trust the Lord than to put confidence in people.

3 comments:

  1. I cannot read this blog without crying. It never fails:)
    This is a great post and so true.

    Becoming a parent changes you......losing your child.....I can't even imagine how your heart changes.

    Only by the grace of the Almighty can one get through the days of living without that beautiful creation.

    You are a strong woman and an inspiration to all of us who are watching and praying for our own kids every night.

    Thanks for sharing your heart.

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  2. Thank you Debbie for being willing to walk with me, if only for a moment, on this journey.

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  3. I love you friend!!! Thanks for sharing even some of the hardest things with us to ponder on..I miss her too...

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