Her Guarded Heart

I have worried a lot about how my kids are handling their grief. I know each child is different; they are different ages and they are very different people. I know too that they have watched my every move and tear. The other day Kennedy mentioned that she got a lot of high marks on a paper she had written. I asked her what she had wrote about and she said it had to be on someone special. I asked well who was is? She said I wrote about Rachel. I asked her why I was just now hearing about it..and she said she didn't want to upset me. I asked her if I could read it and she said sure. I breezed through it trying to make sure that I showed NO emotion except a smile. She also said she had to read it to the class. Let me just say how beautiful her paper was. It was so well written. Put that aside..imagine reading it to your classmates. I was so proud of her. I was also relieved to know that my child is OK. I asked her if it was hard for her to read it and she said almost the very same words that I have said to people I LOVE TALKING ABOUT HER.
So here it is..in her own words..from her heart...her truth..

RA RA

A lot of girls or other siblings might find it maddening to have had an older sister; but not me! I had an extraordinary sister , Rachel Ann Clark, for the first eleven years of my life. RaRa was always into sports. Her favorite was volleyball. She also played soccer and softball when she was about my age.Unfortunately she quit her great talent for sports at the end of her sophomore year. One hobby that we have in common is that we have a passion for video games. I remember side by side with her we conquered Rayan, Mario, Catwoman and best of all Zelda. When I was about five, I played her gamecube so much she became enraged. For Christmas a month later I got my own Gamecube! We both thought Zelda was the best video game ever. Another interest we have in common is that we love to read. Reading is one of the many things that Ra Ra did. I bet she can read the whole Harry Potter series in one day!She probably read half of the fiction books in the library by the time she finished High school. Everyone that she knows remembers how hilarious Ra Ra was before she died. She would always take funny pictures of herself. Also she wasn't obnoxious about it like some people. Ra Ra also loved every kind of music. The only music she didn't care for was my favorite music..screamo music. Although she didn't despise it the way I do country music, she cold live without it. Speaking of music, I bet she had the best singing voice in high school. Rachel Clark is the most lovely girl that ever walked the earth. Never did she need make up to look beautiful. Greatly modest. Her hair was as gorgeous as a princess. It was brown, blonde and straight.Best of all, she had the greatest soul.
Ra Ra was kind,sweet, generous , a good Christian, and the best older sister ever.



After she read her paper, there was a time for questions. One of the questions a classmate asked was if it was hard to read the paper.She told them the same thing she told me..


Even in the depths of our sadness, there is a special place in our hearts that is guarded ..that is impenetrable by this darkness of grief. That is the place where faith, hope , and love are formed...
and the greatest of these is Love.