Thanks for times of gladness

I have been an unwilling participant in an experiment for the past week..my internet was not working. There is a difference in being at the lake and not having access to the internet..and being somewhere where it SHOULD be working, needing it to work, and not be able to use it. I dare you to turn yours off, hide the modem, and wait 7 days. No sneaking on at work either. No smart phones ...rid yourself of the facebook drama and you will be amazed at how ridiculous it is when you log back on. So many things have happened since my last post. Kennedy turned 12+1..I refuse to say 13. She was 13 on the 13th. It was a great weekend for her.
Last Wednesday night we had our church -wide Thanksgiving meal together. It was the first time since losing Rachel that my little girls came with me. I was so glad to see them not have that look of " I don't want to hear anything sad" on their face. Our preacher had printed out some gratitude scriptures and was walking around asking for volunteers to read them. He handed me one and I looked at it ..it said something about a fig tree.. I told him I would do it if I could pick my scripture. He fanned them all out in his hand and I picked one....




My friend Kelly saw my face and knew something was up...I showed her the scripture,and sat there practicing saying it, hearing myself say those words. The preacher called for us to line up to read them and I was number 4. As I read the scripture I was mindful of how many people in that room had just recently lost loved ones, and of those who had also lost a child. I was able to read the scripture and not shed a tear. My voice did crack a little when I read the very last part..O Lord,my God.. I felt as if I had climbed a mountain. Little did I know I was only halfway up. Sunday morning I finished what I started. I sang the special music, but I didn't do it alone. Rachels sweet friend Lauren that helps me on Wednesday nights sang with me. Our song was No Matter What. I had posted it on here a few weeks ago. I had asked to sing a couple of Sundays ago, but we had to wait ...now I know why. God's timing..always perfect. I was so excited to sing this song and to sing with Lauren....and Lauren knew what it meant to me too. She had grown up in our church with Rach, and she and Rach had sang together many times.




It felt good to sing again. I had my verse with me as I went to the podium,and reminded the congregation of it. After we sang the preacher asked if everyone there could say that they had that kind of love...no matter what..I'm gonna love you. What a great start to our Thanksgiving week. I am not saying I am ready ...I am just ready to try.