I feel like I haven't stopped mentally or physically for days. Getting up at 5:30 to make lunches and then staying up with my thoughts has been exhausting. The other morning I noticed it was way to quiet . KK said "the bird feeder is empty". She was right. With everything that had been going on the past few weeks, I had let the seed run out but was too "out "of it myself to know. I just knew I was missing something. Now jump ahead about 14hours....
I had just sat down on the couch to maybe watch a little tv and Kennedy poked her head in my room and asked me if I would please blowdry her hair because she was too tired to do it. Honestly, my first thoughts were" what do you think I did all day"?? As I was taking a minute to go thru my list in my mind, the other part of my brain that is linked to my heart started saying.." what would I give to be able to fix Rachel's hair..just one more time"... what would I give..My hands were always in that girls hair. I cut it, I hi lighted it, I styled it for prom..pictures..you name it. " yes sweetie, I will dry it for you". ' I hope when she gets older it is the things that I do for her and with her, and not the things that I buy her that she remembers .I wrote all that to say, its amazing how many new things I still find that I miss about Rach . I guess having a reminder of how sometimes you really don't miss something...until its gone helped me to understand a quote I have in my home..
“We do not remember days, we remember moments. The richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten.”
PRECIOUS MEMORIES, UNSEEN ANGELS SENT FROM SOMEWHERE TO MY SOUL HOW THEY LINGER, EVER NEAR ME AND THE SACRED PAST UNFOLD.
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