A test before school even starts

We went today to register Kennedy for junior high. It is hard for me to believe she is two years away from high school. We were there for over an hour going from station to station. We have a relative that went to school with Rach ,whose last name is the same as ours, who was well liked at the Jr high. Several people asked me if I was his mom, or if I was related to him. But when we were almost finished, a lady looked at Kennedy's paper, said her last name..and then said "do you have an old sister"? The look on Kennedy's face was way too familiar. She took what seemed like minutes to absorb the blow. It all went in slow motion for me, watching her take a deep breath, close her eyes, and swallow...I knew that she was struggling with how to answer..not wanting to have to say the words. Finally she looked at me, and I smiled and nodded my head and said " yes" and urged her to say it. She looked at the woman with an almost pleading look and said "yes ma'am I do." Then the lady said what is her name. .I knew that these were all innocent questions. She had no clue about Rach. I was fighting to keep my emotions in check, plus not be in that vicious protect mode. I mainly just wanted it to stop for my child's sake. Once again Kennedy looked the lady right in the eyes and said " her name IS Rachel...Rachel Clark." The lady said oh OK...or something generic..I just remember feeling proud of my child and so sad for her at the same time. Sometimes I wonder how much they have silently endured when I was not there with them . I talked later with Kennedy about it. I explained to her that the lady just saw her last name and thought she recognized it. We talked about what to say or what she could say if it ever happened again. She said it just made her sad. You just don't know when or how or its going to happen... but when you hit that wall of grief, it feels as hard as it did the last time. But , we made it through..that's all that matters.

"When these feet of mine grow tired from walking mile after mile,
And when I think my faith is steady here comes another trial.
When it seems the worlds against me and no one understands...
Don't ever let go of my hand."