Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sweet Hour Of Prayer

Well after a long week of taking care of a sick kid, I was so ready for this weekend. KK got strep throat, and then wound up getting a stomach virus on top of that. I needed 2 Saturdays this weekend.. Church this morning was really good. We had a very prayer - filled service. After I did my childrens sermon , they asked for the preacher and 2 other men in our church who are preachers, to come down front. It was a time to get special prayer for yourself or someone you knew. I went down .I went to a man that I have known since I was a very little girl.I told him I was in need of prayer because Rachels birthday was coming up and...I... I could barely finish my sentence...he grabbed me by my hand and looked into my eyes and said " I voice your name before the Lord everyday in my prayers".That meant so much to me...And then Mr. Quinn wrapped his arms around me and said the sweetest prayer. Our whole service was about prayer.The next song we sang was Sweet Hour of Prayer...I heard every word of it ..this time. It is such a beautiful song. I left church feeling wonderful.. I stopped and got us some lunch to eat at home..and then this is where it all changes....
As I turned down my road to come home, there were 3 dogs that we did not recognize..One really big pit /mix looking thing, and weenie dog with a limp, and a cute little scruffy black dog..Kennedy immediately started telling me to get out and get them..I told her I couldn't because that big dog looked mean..I could see the cute little black dog jumping around in the high grass..She was begging me to do something..The little weenie dog took off towards the main hi way...I tried to go ahead and get us on down the road..Kennedy kept asking me why I didn't help.I told her I was afraid of the big dog..We went in to eat and I could tell Kennedy was still sad...I told her they would be ok and she said..."no they won't ..the black one got ran over"...I didn't believe her...I didn't see it..She said she saw it ...oh...my goodness....so of course I had to go back and look and see..and bless her little heart..there was the little black dog ...right there ...all I could think was I've got to move her so Kennedy doesn't have to see it every time we leave..
I am so glad my girls have no idea of what I see when I get to the end of that road..they don't know where the wreck happened..just that it happened..I went and got a shovel and went to move the little dog..praying for strength the whole time...Oh sweet hour of prayer "In seasons of distress and grief,My soul has often found relief."...I was having some trouble , and I stopped because of traffic...then a truck came down our street and stopped and asked if I needed help.For some reason I felt compelled to tell this man MY whole story...he went and got the puppy for me.. and said how very sorry he was..I don't even know that if I would have gotten out of my car and went to try to get the little dog , it would have even came to me..I might have scared it into the road..I'm so sorry little puppy that I didn't help you..And I'm sorry that your owner didn't care enough to take better care of you... I wrote this poem on the 21st of October last year...I have been thinking about it today , and thought I would share it again...


At the end of the road
there is a place
where part of my heart sits still.
It sits and holds your love and grace,
Gods mercy I can feel.
At the end of the road
I never thought
that all your dreams would end.
That plans would change, life would stop
and healing would begin.
At the end of the road
I didn't know
I 'd have to say goodbye.
That everyday I'd see the place
where you first learned to fly.
At the end of the road
there is a choice,
The darkness or the light.
I choose the light, the Son of God
whose never left my side.
At the end of the road
I know there's life
there's life eternally.
And that is what i hope to see
and the end of the road
for me.

"SWEET HOUR OF PRAYER"
Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer!
That calls me from a world of care,
And bids me at my Father’s throne
Make all my wants and wishes known.
In seasons of distress and grief,
My soul has often found relief,
And oft escaped the tempter’s snare,
By thy return, sweet hour of prayer!
Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer!
The joys I feel, the bliss I share,
Of those whose anxious spirits burn
With strong desires for thy return!
With such I hasten to the place
Where God my Savior shows His face,
And gladly take my station there,
And wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer!
Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer!
Thy wings shall my petition bear
To Him whose truth and faithfulness
Engage the waiting soul to bless.
And since He bids me seek His face,
Believe His Word and trust His grace,
I’ll cast on Him my every care,
And wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer!
Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer!
May I thy consolation share,
Till, from Mount Pisgah’s lofty height,
I view my home and take my flight.
This robe of flesh I’ll drop, and rise
To seize the everlasting prize,
And shout, while passing through the air,
“Farewell, farewell, sweet hour of prayer!”

1 comment:

  1. I can't make the words I am feeling all come out, so just know that I love you so very much. I think of you daily, pray for you always, and you are never, EVER alone.

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