I had made the decision days ahead that I would not be in town for September 17th. I did not want to give that day or that number any more power . I miss Rach everyday...EVERY SINGLE DAY...that day would not make me miss her any more than I already do. I decided to take the little girls to the place that makes them the happiest....Moody Gardens in Galveston....I took them out of school for the day , and we headed out .Rob rode over too and stayed overnight with us. I was given an awesome discount on a room at the Moody Gardens hotel.The girls have had that place on their wish list for a long time..We had a wonderful 2 days . So many moments I was able to be filled with memories of her, and smile..When I could feel myself beginning to be sad, something or someone would always lift me up... The sky Friday night was pure amethyst..The fat little baby at the pool who stared at me forever wanting me to make him smile. I tried for at least 30 minutes to get a grin out of that boy..finally his mom said "Oh Angus aren't you gonna smile at that lady"?..He did ..he looked at me with his deep brown eyes and smiled a smile that I thought was just for me..The next day we went to my sisters house in Houston. Her twin 10 year old boys were going to be baptized. I was a little worried about how that would affect me , but I really wanted to be there and I wanted my girls to be there for them.The preacher went into the baptistery and called for both of them to join him..immediately my mind went back to when Robin and Rachel were in the baptistery together...it washed over me like a huge wave , but I was able to stop and say to myself " yes what a precious sight for a Mom ..and to know their child has everlasting life"..
I had a few visitors before I left town, and was given some really special gifts.I was also sent the sweetest cards. I'll save all the gifts for a later post..I was so touched by all the things placed at the cemetery. I was also really moved by all the photos and sweet comments that her friends ,and my friends ,posted on facebook.So much love ....
When I close my eyes I see myself walking down this awful path of grief and ALL of my family and friends- from school and from church and Rachs friends,and people that I know only because of my grief(but that I feel very close too) are all holding hands and making a circle around me..they walk this path with me..sometimes someone will move out of the circle and walk beside me...sometimes they put an arm around me and help me walk..and sometimes they will even walk for me when I cannot stand.....I am so thankful for all of you..even those that are not here in town...I know in my heart you are here ...I know you too are in the circle of love that surrounds me..
Eternal life isn’t only waiting for us one day in heaven. But eternal life is Jesus! and it is a close intimate relationship with Him that begins here on earth.
Jesus said in John 17:3," And this is eternal life, that they might know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."
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