Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sailin the High Seas

For the past 2 years our church has had a huge 4th of July carnival.The kids really have a great time. Last year we gave cross necklaces out in our goodie bags. If you look closely in some of my pictures on the blogs, you can see Rach wearing the one KK gave her.Once she put it on,she didn't take it off.I don't think there is a holiday that I cannot connect to her..so now the next hurdle is vacation bible school.I have been so busy this week getting things ready for it.I have to turn our sanctuary into a ship ....(like a pirate ship but no pirates) I have been leading the music for the past 4 years. Before, I would teach a class. When I started doing music,Rachel was in the youth dept. so she was able to be my helper.One year she left me to go do drama,but she had the best time. No matter where we were ,she was there with me ,helping me to get it all ready.I try to turn the sanctuary into whatever our theme is. Rachel was always there to help me.I could always count on her honesty for how things were looking.It's just one more of those bittersweet memories...I miss her,but at the same time,I am so glad we had all those moments together. She can show them in heaven how to turn a cardboard box into a rocket, a boat, or one year I even made a water slide coming out of the baptistery.It also was a spacial time for her spiritually ,too. Rachel went to youth camp when she was a junior,and made the decision to rededicate her life.She wanted to be sure that when she had made her first decision that she hadn't done that just because Robin had done it.. but she hadn't followed in believers baptism yet. VBS gave me the opportunity to really share with her some scriptures,and that is why you see photos of her not as a child , but as a teenager being baptized. And that is what has given me so much peace. Like I've said before, I know none of my children are perfect,but I do know who was in Rachels heart.And I know how willing she was to share WHO was in her heart with others. Kennedy is in place where she needs to talk about Rach a lot. She just wants to know everything she can.She has so many question..she misses her so much. we all do....I will be on a "High Seas Expedition " starting Sunday night. I've got so much to do for the decorations PLUS learn songs AND do some talking and a skit...but I am not going to let myself get too stressed about it. I know that God will show me how to get it all done.. He showed me this morning how to fix the stage so I can have a "help" poster that no one can see, to help me to not forget what I am supposed to say.......I'm hoping to live what Mark 6:51 says =Immediately he spoke to them and said, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed......

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