The Eighth Month

Back in October in one of my post,I asked the question"how long will I count the weeks, when will it turn into months"? I don't remember exactly when it happened, just one day I realized I didn't know how many weeks..8 months today..Imagine going 8 days without speaking to your child, or seeing your child.Then try to imagine 8 weeks.Unless you've had too, you can't.You can't imagine 8 months, or the rest of your life. You have no idea how it feels .There are no words for me to use to get you to understand the feeling that I have when I look at her picture, when I hear a song, or when I see a young girl about her age with her mom in town...or when I am standing at her grave ...in silence..staring at her name.... When I go to visit I always squat down instead of just standing the whole time.For some reason it feels better to be closer to ground. I waited for the rain to stop this evening so I could go. I was staring at the new headstone. It is so beautiful to look at. It was very cloudy and overcast when I got there. As I was crouched down,I noticed how the trees made such a beautiful canopy with their branches. There was a small v shaped cut-out in the middle of it. As I stared at the angel and talked to God,I became aware of how the sun was now shining through the V.It was beaming down through the canopy, to me. It was just like out of a movie, or a painting. I looked over to the other side of the cemetery and there was no sun. It was like it was only there for me. It stayed as long as I was down, and then it just drifted away. I love those moments that I have with God, feeling his all encompassing love.It is in these quiet moments known only to me ,that I find my peace. I know some of you have doubts when you read my post.I pray that my words encourage you to search deeper into your own relationship with God to see how He reveals Himself to you. "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you"James 4:8 The words to this song that we (the praise band) played,are perfect for today:

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant

Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again