A bigger bang

The closer I get to this Christmas, the more I realize how very different this one is feeling. The first Christmas we were all just trying to get through, clinging to every word of every poem, card, anything that would give us hope. The next Christmas I pulled those "special ornaments" and things out and rode the hope wave again. This year reality has set in. Remember when you were little and you would get sparklers to do on New Years Eve? Oh they were so beautiful..you would just stand there waiting to light another one, so proud of the circles of light you made. But then a couple of years later you realize that the light they give only last a short time.







You get to the point where you don't even want to mess with lighting one..you need something bigger. That is where I am. My sparkler has gone out and I'm looking in the bag for something
bigger. ..maybe just maybe.. I'm ready to try something with a bang!




In a daydream, I couldn't live like this.
I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful.
When I wake up, and all i want i have.
You know it's still not what i need something beautiful.

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
.... something beautiful