Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Peace
I spoke Sunday morning,briefly.I needed my church family to know how much I loved them and how thankful I was for everything everyone did for us. I made a few notes so I wouldn't leave anyone out, and I noticed that before I went up I was so nervous. This bothered me. I had spoke just the week before to hundreds of people I didn't really know.Pleading with them to search their hearts, get things right before they left the funeral service. It was the easiest sermon I ever gave.I floated up on the stage , no notes, no worries.The words just poured out of me. I don't even remember all of them .My sister ,Becki, has a friend in Houston who does. I wish she would call me and tell me. I want to remember every part. I want everyday to have that peace that I had the day of my daughters funeral. What gets in the way?Is it me? Is it the world?I need that feeling. I crave that feeling. I want you to have that feeling.Maybe its here but I choose not to feel it?This is what keeps me awake at night.Did I use all my faith up or did I know I just had that one opportunity .I pray for that peace, that passeth all understanding.
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He gave you that peace that day. I can remember parts of what you said verbatim, and I shared it on Coastie Chicks with hundreds of other people. The strength and grace that exuded through you was God. It was seeing that His strength is perfect. It was certainly, on that day, the peace that surpassed all understanding. In those moments, it was all about making sure that every person in that building knew that Rachel's salvation was what was keeping you going.
ReplyDelete"If you don't make it to the highway, if you don't make it to 105, just like Rachel... Just make sure your Mom knows where you're going."
I love you. I admire you so very much and I miss you.