In September

I have been thinking constantly about my dream. Not trying to analyze or interpret it, just wanting to remember every part of it. The feeling I had was what was so powerful. When I was looking at Rachel it was like I was in the presence of someone very accomplished. ...but not like a celebrity..it was just an amazing feeling. I wasn't sad..I didn't see her as my little girl ..its hard to explain.
Right after I posted about the dream, I did a search about songs that talk about September. This was the same day, just minutes after I hit "publish". The very first song I click ..I read this


I called to tell you that I miss you
And I want to be there with you
I guess there are some things I can't control
So, don't wait up for me I'll see you when you sleep
It's so hard to have to leave
When I was so close to coming home

If you dream Then dream of me
It may break your heart You'll be alright
Cos, I'll be waiting for you And I will see you soon...
So don't forget me come tomorrow
At least I'm not one of those Who never got the chance to say goodbye
It's so hard to end like this With only words to say the things
That I could never say In a thousand lifetimes...

If you dream Then dream of me
It may break your heart You'll be alright Cos,
I'll be waiting for you And I will see you soon...


I've been trying to find the song online...and I can't find it anywhere. The band that sings it has a Facebook page but no other info.

The name of the song is
In September.


Daniel 2:28 ESV

But there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries......

This week is going by so fast . I will blink and it will be Monday. And my God in heaven will be there.

Jesus take the wheel

I had the privilege of presenting the Rachel Clark Scholarship at church again this year. It just happened to be on Fathers day. Rachel's brother(he is her step brother, but we don't say it that way) was the recipient this year. You can only imagine all the emotions I was feeling that day. I had Rachel on my mind..Amanda and her precious family...and then knowing how everything that her brother was feeling. It was one of those days where I just had to say those three words "TAKE IT JESUS ". It was so far beyond anything I could handle. The church that does the scholarship was so full of love and hugs. When it came time for greeting people , I saw a woman coming from the front of the church and I knew...it was Amanda mother. I did not get to meet her family last year. As I looked into her eyes I saw where I remembered being. I knew that look . I know that look and the feelings that are behind it. It was so hard for me to stand in front of this family with their grief so new and talk about a hope for a future. Aftere church I was able to speak to her more and realized that they are surrounded by so many loving families and their faith in God unwavering. I honestly don't remember everything I said . I wanted to be sure they knew how grateful I am for them continuing to honor my Rach in this way. I brought one of the wooden cross necklaces to give to Dakota. I shared with them the story of Rachel wearing hers....even as she left this earth. And told hime to let it remind him to have faith
But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. Heb. 11:6

I also shared Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Sometimes our paths are not His paths... so sometimes we just simply need to trust ...we just simply need the cross.
My last verse that I shared was my prayer for Dakota


And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment,
10 that you may approve the things that are excellent,
that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ,
11 being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God...Phil 1:9

Amanda's dad played the guitar and sang a song. Before he sang he spoke about loving your kids no matter what. They aren't gonna be perfect...and we just need to love them . He urged all the dads to take time that day and tell their children -no matter how old...no matter how close or how far away ...find them...and tell them you love them.
LOVE NEVER FAILS

High and lifted up

So the day after I post about my torment at the fair, I get an email from Kennedy's coach saying that she found a coach that will work with her on learning how to pole vault. Great! because that's not a dangerous sport...right ?????? God sure has a way of instantly putting me in situations that require a new level of trust. Kennedy has talked about wanting to pole vault since the beginning of track season, but had not even touched a pole...until last Sunday. We met the coaches at the high school and I tried to look normal. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be(for now). I watched as my daughter grabbed her pole and took off. She loved it! In no time she was inches from clearing the first bar height. She was even bold enough to attempt it in the track meet this week. I still have little twinges of uncertainty when I watch, but , when she turns and smiles and says " I love doing this" ..well ..that's good enough for me. I am so thankful for all the ways God uses my children to help me continue to learn how to live .






Sometimes I wonder if I'd ever make it through
Through this world without having you, I just wouldn't have a clue
'Cuz sometimes it seems like this world's closing in on me
And there's no way of breaking free, and then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby, and everything's alright, everything's alright

When I see you smile, I can face the world, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile, I see a ray of light,
I see it shining right thru the rain
When I see you smile, baby when I see you smile at me

We like sheep

I took my girls (plus a friend) to our state fair. The last time we went, Rachel was with us. I had wrote on here how hard it was for her to watch her little sisters ride the rides. She didn't think it was safe, she was afraid her littlest sister would try to stand up, she was a mess. Guess who was a mess last night?
It all started out ok, but then the reality of what I was looking at began to sink in. People flock in to these arenas like mindless sheep. We allow ourselves to be dangled by wires and chains, and slung around on rail. All of this put together and operated by people that we don't know anything about (scary carnival man) ... As I watched my child hang upside down with only a bar and a strap of material holding her in, I started to realize that once you've seen behind the curtain ( just like on the Wizard of Oz) you are never the same. Losing a child changes everything.
I also started to question why we were so willing to trust these strangers
with our life, but we aren't willing to do the same with God. We only are willing to get on the "merry go round" with Him. Anything that causes unpleasant feelings, we panic. But just for fun...let me get spun around so much my brain scrambles ..
Yes I know...its just a carnival...its just something I thought about..and just another way my life has been changed.



Psalm 118:5-6, 8 (NLT) In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and rescued me. The Lord is for me, so I will not be afraid… It is better to trust the Lord than to put confidence in people.