I can't believe in one week I will be facing another Thanksgiving. Last year ....I can remember last years so well. Time has went by so fast this year. I am not dreading the holidays, I honestly don't think there is a word for how I feel. I know that I will ,at some point be sad.....and I know that I will also at some point, smile. Kennedy has requested bacon "and lots of it" for Thanksgiving. We tend to lean towards the non-traditional way of things. Kaitlin wants to "see" the turkey on the table...she just doesn't want to eat it. The candied sweet potatoes were always Rach's favorite. I guess I should say ONE of her favorites.. I can remember her walking into the kitchen and asking " are you making sweet potatoes"??? " you know their my favorite"....like I would forget that one year.... extra buttery...and extra marshmellowy.....I don't know what would be worse....seeing them on the table...or not seeing them on the table... it just feels like there wasn't enough time in between last year and this year...it's all still so fresh in my mind..I can remember going all over town looking for calla lilies. I can remember being at the cemetery . I can remember everyone looking stunned.. I don't think I look the same this year. I don't feel the same. I don't think I will ever feel "normal" again. Maybe I shouldn't..maybe the way I feel now is normal and before I wasn't feeling? Maybe I'm afraid if I let go of what I feel...I let go of Rach.. I don't know how many Thanksgivings it will be before I am ready to do them how we did them in the past. My husband and I both agree that doing it different makes it a little easier.
Nothing will ever be the same..not me...not anything..and thats Ok... I have overcome a lot since last year..I have learned to trust God more..and I have learned the meaning of praising God in the bad times.
"But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you."
"Enter into His gates with thanksgiving , and into His courts with praise"..You can go in through the gate with thanksgiving, or you can stand outside of it and cry and whine and hope He hears you..God has allowed me to do things that I never dreamed I could do. I am so thankful for every opportunity He has given me to share my testimony,or play the drums... or to sing a song that is on my heart...
Psalm 30:12 – "That my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks for ever."
I have no plans for sure for Thanksgiving...all I know is that there will be
bacon...
thankin....
AND LOTS OF IT !!!!!!!
IIIIT'S BACON!! haha, remember that commercial about the dog food?? I just wanted you to know on Thanksgiving I will be thankful for Rach's life & love that endures forever & grateful for the process of healing that has not only "begun" in you & your family, but because of your great faith & perserverence with God, is developing at a HOLY rate. You know the kind of pace that seems unexplainable to some, but as His children we know exactly where the "unexplainable" grace, strength, & divine comfort to endure comes from. LOOK HOW FAR YOU'VE COME IN JUST A YEAR!! Thank you Master for Your miracles & power, You truly keep Your promises to restore our souls & renew our hope & joy... All of us that are priviledged to love you, see God's beautiful love & presence in you & through your commitment to hang on tight & never give up (when your weary you faint not) & God gives "us" His hope through you. I'm so sorry your temporary journey here predestined the loss of your precious daughter, but I'm sure I speak for many (on this occasion for thankfulness) that "WE" are forever THANKFUL that you have allowed us to share in this experience with you, GRATEFUL for your obedience & determination to seek God's Will in the face of impossible circumstances, we GIVE THANKS to God for His mercy & annointing on you to walk this path, because we have been touched & transformed in some way by seeing HIM through your eyes...Thank you Suzette for your life & friendship.And remember in your dark days (believe me we understand you have them & it doesn't take away from your witness to us, we know your healing but we also know you have been changed forever & you miss her dearly) remember this verse....ROM. 8:26-27 "The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for (Suzette) the saints in accordance with God's will." But then also remember..Ps.30:11-12 "You turned my wailing into dancing;you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart my sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give You thanks forever." WOW- Let us all give thanks forever & seek the wonders of what God can do...Susie-Q by the length of this you know who this is..you know :) Love you always & Happy Thanksgiving in Jesus name...For this life is fleeting & only in a short while will be offering our praise of thanks in person & with those we love....
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