Carrying Her Heart

I am dedicating this site to my beloved daughter Rachel whose earthly life ended on Sept. 17,2009.This is just a glimpse of the path I walk through this journey of grief.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

There you'll be

"There are just some things a mother should not have to do"....I remember so well standing at the counter in the office of our local paper just days after the funeral almost two years ago, with my photo and my scribbled piece of paper...barely able to form a sentence. I handed it all to the lady and just stared at her. The lady looked at me and said those words..
As I was trying to put together something for the newspaper again, those words kept pouring through my mind. And then trying to come up with 1 picture, 1 thing to say. I second guess everything ..because it never feels like it is enough. I wanted this photo because I love how I feel when I see it. And I am so grateful to Tammy Silvestrini, for creating it for me. These words are from the song that Michelle sang at the funeral.( If you click on the photo it will get bigger.)




I sat on the couch Monday after I had spent the morning trying to get this photo to print, struggling through the day. When my husband came home he sat with me and I told him how the day went. Through his own tears he asked " why is this year so much harder"..I don't know ..what I do know is that God is still walking with me. On the way to the paper I stopped to get gas. As soon as I got out of my car , a butterfly came out of nowhere and led me in to the store. I thought that was amazing. When I came back out to pump my gas , a feather was laying right by my door. Like the words to the song say...and everywhere I am ..there you'll be.





****after I wrote this I went back to read it on "the blog"..when I clicked on the photo..I noticed the quote above the picture for the first time..perfect

4 comments:

  1. I can't imagine the pressure of tryin to make it "enough", but when I tell you it is "Divinely Perfect" WOOOOW!!!! I love the way it makes me feel too! I am moved by the "God wink" comment above it also! I can imagine God sayin, do not be afraid my child, when you feel emptied I AM ALWAYS ENOUGH!!! I know He is carrying your heart as you do Rach's....Love you sooooo BIG!! C :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was wondering if you saw the quote above it. So beautiful.

    I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I still think about her every day. So many amazing memories. I will always love that girl. I miss you guys.. -Mr. Cali... ;)

    ReplyDelete