Well I didn't realize it had actually been a week since I had posted. Starting on the 13th and ending on Sunday the 19th it was non stop running for me. I was beyond tired...and I was talked out. I just needed to spend a few days being quiet. And what a coinkydinky that I had the perfect place to do just that. When we came home that Sunday afternoon, I came home to a newly landscaped backyard. My sister in law Shana(also now known as the white Oprah) had spent the weekend giving me the most wonderful gift.Her sweet mother also came and helped create my beautiful new haven - ( a place of refuge or rest). I had "kinda" done a little bit of planting here and there, but what I have now is so beautiful.So much thought was put into every detail of it. When I first walked into the yard my mind really could not comprehend what it was seeing. It was so beautiful ,and there was so much to try to take in ..it was just like being in one of those "makeover" shows..I just sat in one of my new chairs and cried..The girls and I have spent a lot of time out there this week. There were also lots of new birds that came to visit too.There is just something so peaceful about sitting out there and listening to the fountain and just "being still". One of my favorite things is a paver that has a quote on it.It says "Perhaps the stars in the sky are loved ones letting us know they are near by guiding us through the night". You see, one of Rachs sweet friends ,Brittni, had came over Thursday before we left to go out of town. She came with bags full of the most thoughtful gifts.She had pictures of Rach for all the kids, and she had painted KK and Kennedy each a special angel picture.But the best part was she had gotten a star named after Rachel! What a special gift to be given .I really was so moved by the outpouring of love I was shown during those dark days. When I read the paver for the first time , I went right into the ugly cry. It just all went together so well.I am so blessed to have so many caring people surrounding me. My family ,my friends..some old friends ..some new friends..but all wanting so badly to ease just a small portion of my pain even if only for a moment. One friend even showed up with not 1 but TWO cartons of whoppers to help get me through that hard weekend. Oh Christel...you know me so well....She also brought me a collection of scriptures and this wonderful poem she had written for me...every word of it was so meaningful..and she included a cd of a song she wanted me to listen to .The name of it is "He knows my name"..that is also the name of the last song Rach and I sang together. This is a different song...but I just thought out of millions of songs ...thats the name of the one she has for me..Gideon Bibles were also purchased in Rachs name ..thank you Betsy for that.My Dad has been a Gideon for many years.Rach actually went with him one time to pass out Bibles, so remembering her in that way was very special. The girls from her youth group at church got together and had a special time of remembering.. I had so many of Rachs friends reach out to me..I am so glad to have them as my friend now too. I hope I am not leaving anything out..I know that I am not walking alone..I know that you understand that this journey is not over for me..that it never will be..and I pray that you never have to know what it feels like to walk it yourself.
Thank you for continuing to pray for me and my family and thank you for carrying her heart.
(I ate all the whoppers)
"Perhaps the stars in the sky are loved ones letting us know they are near by guiding us through the night".
here is the deepest secret nobody knows....
here is the root of the root
and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide..
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.
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